Get Over Social Anxiety – Step by Step
You CAN get over your social anxiety. Remember you have learned that anxiety is a natural reaction to a ‘threat’. This comes from our past where humans lived in a dangerous world and needed to be able to react quickly to danger.
There is often no real ‘threat’ in modern life, but that anxiety still happens when a situation seems threatening. What is a threatening situation to one person with social anxiety may be a manageable situation to another but you can learn to get over social anxiety by first accepting your reactions are healthy and normal.
Step by Step to Get Over Social Anxiety:
Snap Out Of It – A Common Misperception
This approach is not helpful, some people feel a person suffering with social anxiety can simply get over it. People with social anxiety can have huge problems trying to communicate to someone else what their feelings of anxiety are. Some people have no raised anxiety levels and think you can simply snap out of it.
This is not the case.
If you have suffered for a long time you may simply feel you can not get rid of social anxiety. Social anxiety keeps you from fully enjoying your life. I have lived through it myself. Stepping out of your comfort zone will be uncomfortable but with my small steps you can get over social anxiety.
Your Natural Reaction to Social Anxiety
When a threat is registered the body speeds up ‘for the fight’, fight the threat or run like hell. This is to keep us safe in the face of danger. This feels awful if it is unexpected.
It’s also a reason why cognitive behavioral therapy for social anxiety is so intimidating for most people to engage in.
Our natural reaction is to not then return to the situation or thing that caused the anxiety.
You can discover how to get over social anxiety by understanding your reactions and starting to return to the situations that cause the anxiety. Start small. This in itself is a massive challenge to a person with social anxiety. Remind yourself of the reaction being normal.
The majority of people with social anxiety have designed their own coping mechanisms without even realizing it.
Here is an example; a middle aged woman who is the most thoughtful, caring person you could ever hope to meet. If she heard it was your birthday she would make a note of it in her diary to remember it next year and you would likely receive a cake and a card. Possibly even a gift, she may even decorate your house in banners and balloons. She sounds amazing, but she is suffering with social anxiety.
Troubled for years with not feeling like she had any real friends she would over compensate and try and win friends through gestures. This did not work as although they saw her as thoughtful, they accepted this was her normal standard and when it came around to her birthday she would feel miserable when none of her efforts were reciprocated. The annual cycle of this ground her down to breaking point, to get over social anxiety she had to first realize this was a problem.
Accepting You Have A Problem
It is not a weakness to have a problem, it is a strength to stand up and accept there is something that needs addressing in your life and by doing this you will come out stronger and self affirmed.
You can turn your life around and get over social anxiety. You have the power in your hands. Having social anxiety is not your fault, it is nothing that you have done wrong. It is the effect of your core beliefs and how they have formed your automatic thoughts. You can get over social anxiety, you do have the strength inside.
To get over social anxiety realize that whatever situation you are in, the immediate thoughts that jump into your mind may not be healthy or relevant. They may be negative automatic thoughts or unhelpful thinking. Imagine this, you are walking down the street, it is a nice day and you are out for a walk.
You see someone across the street that you recognize, you smile, wave, possibly shout “hello” and this person ignores you and carries on walking. Your response might be that they do not like you any more, are ignoring you on purpose but this is not necessarily the case.
More balanced thinking might say it is more likely that the person across the street did not see you properly, maybe they were deep in thought or in a rush. By pondering these other possibilities your anxiety would be reduced. You do not know what another person is thinking and to get over social anxiety you need to understand this.
Thinking Too Much
It is not helpful to think too much about a situation, learn to let more things go. When negative thoughts come into your mind ask yourself, are these thoughts helpful to me.
Can I learn anything by thinking about this thought or am I better to simply let it go. I used to mull over every moment in my day until my head felt like it was spinning. Dealing with social anxiety, allowing thoughts to simply be ‘let go’ is a healthy approach. Remember, I talked about not listening to the muttering bird caged up inside.
It is not helpful.
By analyzing less you will find it becomes more of a habit. Over-thinking is not helpful for you and will only contribute as another one of the causes of social anxiety.
Make sure you sign up for my free video series on how to get over social anxiety once and for all with a simple, yet effective system that took me eleven years to construct. Just fill in your name and email next to this article and I’ll send you the first video immediately, take care.
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