People With Social Anxiety – In It Together

There are more of us then you would at first think. We all tend to feel we are the only person who exists or experience certain feelings but we could not be more wrong. A large proportion of the population would fit onto a sliding scale of social anxiety.

People with social anxiety are all around us.

The next time you leave the house to go anywhere, whether it is the gym, library, local shopping mall or even to post a letter remember you are not alone with your feelings. The causes of social anxiety that you experience are shared by many.

People With Social Anxiety – An Overview:

General Topics: Our Problems Video Tutorial Free Video Series
Specific Applications: Repressing Feelings Your Inner Voice A Closed Window
Keeping it Going Avoidance The Old Me & The New Me

Our Problems

People with social anxiety often have feelings of low self esteem, pain, feelings of worthlessness, worry about the past, present or future. Thoughts that the world might be better without you, depression, avoiding places, people or particular activities that cause these levels of anxiety leaving them feeling isolated and alone. Often feeling they are absolutely alone with how they must feel.

People with Social Anxiety Repress Feelings

Imagine for a moment that someone tells you that they are suffering emotionally. That they have any of the feelings I have just mentioned. You would naturally want to help that person and show you care.

People with social anxiety often carry such a burden with them. Remember, you are not alone. Choose a person in your mind, imagine they came to and unburdened onto you all their social anxiety disorder symptoms, you would naturally want to try and help them. You can help yourself in overcoming social anxiety and shyness but it can be helpful to choose a person in your life to share some of your feelings with.

This does not mean you have to tell them your whole life story. Explaining some anxiety difficulties with another person can help reduce your feelings of anxiety. People with social anxiety are actually better not alone.

Your Inner Voice

People with social anxiety often feel a strong sense of isolation. You are a valuable human being but there is a small voice inside telling you otherwise. Think of that small voice like a bird in a cage. To truly know how to get over social anxiety, you’ll need to implement strategies to silence that voice.

Try throwing a large cloth over that that cage to dampen down all the noises coming from the cage, every time it starts making noises tell yourself I’m going to try and block out that birds noises. You will find over time that you listen to the bird even less. Maybe eventually the bird will fly away. You have an inner voice which talks all the time throughout the day, this does not mean that your inner voice is helpful or useful to you. People with social anxiety have a strong inner monologue.

A Closed Window

I have often heard people with social anxiety looking at the world like they are always on the outside looking in, as if a window was between them and the situation they are looking at. This feeling is likely to have developed because of things that have happened during childhood. For example bullying, sibling rivalry, verbal abuse, physical abuse, moving around a lot and not getting the chance to build stable and long term relationships, a difficult working environment.

These or other unhelpful or disruptive experiences contribute to the development of what are called your core beliefs. And these belief are what you must challenge when dealing with social anxiety – every day.

Keeping the Problem Going

Being anxious is a horrible feeling and no one likes to feel this way. You might find that you began to avoid the triggers for this anxiety, making you feel better in the short term. By doing this you are unable to achieve what you want from life, making you feel worse again.

The more I avoid, the more I feel worse.

When you avoid things you do not get a chance to retrain your brain and realise that if you stick at it, the anxiety goes away.


You may find yourself avoiding places which cause you high levels of anxiety. It is likely to be difficult to tell anybody else how you might be feeling. Getting out and about in your local community is likely to be a difficult experience. People with social anxiety often talk about problems instead of speaking their mind.

The things we do to try and reduce the anxiety are ultimately what keep the problem going. There is a wide and diverse range of coping mechanisms we use.

The Old Me

One strategy I used was overbuying and panic buying. When shopping during a time of bad weather I would have bought vast quantities of food in case I would not be able to leave the house for a while. It was just one of the futile ways I would try to get rid of social anxiety.

This was the same if I shopped online. This strategy was not helpful as it reduced my anxiety in the short term but raised my levels longer term. I was listening to the mutterings of my caged bird. If it was someone’s birthday, even someone I barely knew I would make sure I bought something extremely thoughtful for them and would often be left with a feeling of being unappreciated when it was not reciprocated.

The New Me

I now have a far deeper understanding of myself, people with social anxiety have nothing wrong with their brains it is the effect of life and our natural panic reaction in certain situations that we need to understand. Once you understand yourself and why you feel the way you do, or react the way you do, you can learn to control your symptoms of social anxiety and become who you want to be, who you really are.

You can become that person who no longer looks through a closed window but is on the other side in the warmth surrounded by people who make you happy and who you feel comfortable with. You can learn to keep your caged bird covered over until its muttering can barely be heard, finally it will fly away.

Sign up for my free video series on how to get over social anxiety once and for all with an effective yet simplistic system that took me eleven years to structure. Just fill in your name and email next to this article and I’ll send you the first video immediately. It’s targeted to help people with social anxiety – just like you, take care.

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